talking on the phone--conversation and keeping track of yourself

when i was in 7th grade and starting talking to people on the phone for the first time, i used to make little lists of the things i wanted to talk to somebody about. i told myself it was because i wanted to make sure there weren't long, awkward pauses. (which of course concerned me greatly.)

in retrospect, i realize it was also that i really relied on the friendship: people i was talking to helped me keep track of myself. the conversations with her were where that happened, much more than conversations with my parents, since they, being parents, didn't really "get it" most of the time.

it was where i was sort of able to process my day, my thoughts, my feelings, with someone who cared about me.